I got diagnosed with childhood depression when both my parents died when I was only eight years old. I remembered not wanting to talk to anyone, not even my favorite aunt, who became my guardian. I did not want to eat unless I was either too hungry or almost force-fed. It was not that I felt angry with my parents for leaving me so soon; it was more because I wanted to be with them at once. The only way I assumed it could happen was if I did nothing with my life.
Dark, right? That’s what I eventually thought, too. I did not know what depression meant at the time, but my aunt did, and she asked one of her close friends – a child psychologist – to pay me a visit at home. The first few times she would come, I recalled my aunt’s friend asking me to draw myself and talk about how I felt. Then, she ended up diagnosing me with childhood depression and helping me get through it with therapy.
I could affirm that the diagnosis changed my life. After that, I started going out of my room to play with my cousins and watch Disney movies with my aunt. I did not brood whenever I missed my parents. More importantly, I regained my appetite and looked forward to growing up. The last time I met my therapist was when my therapy ended at ten years old, and she told me I was already free from depression.
Living in a world of Coding
When I went to college, I found joy in learning how to code. I would get up every day, feeling excited for new coding techniques that I would learn. Some of my dormmates called me a dork because of that, but I did not mind. I was even proud of it. It meant that I excelled at something. Thus, no one was shocked when a tech company at Silicon Valley hired me on the spot during a university job fair.
For two years, I was blissful. I got to work with and learn from some coding experts; I became a part of an incredible team that came up with exciting ways to optimize our websites. Of course, I was well-paid, to the extent that I could pay my student loan, my aunt’s house mortgage, and my new condo near the workplace. Whenever I met my old college buddies, they would always tell me that my dorkiness served me well. It really did.
Then, Depression Crept Back In My Life
A part of the reason why I was always happy was that I could walk or ride my bicycle to school. With the proximity of my new condo to my workplace, I got to continue doing that. I loved the scenery; I loved waving at cars passing by. Unfortunately, when the COVID-19 pandemic happened, the company had to make us all work remotely, and I would wake up sadder than ever every day.
What is the number 1 cause of depression?
The environment is technically the #1 cause of depression. When you mix stressful events with traumatic experiences for a prolonged period, there is a high chance of getting depressed. The odds will not be in your favor either if your mother or father has previously been diagnosed with depression, given that it guarantees that you will develop the same disorder by 40%.
How do I stop waking up in a bad mood?
If you want to stop waking up in a bad mood, you need to do the following:
- Avoid trying to sweep your negative emotions under the rug. Doing so entails you are setting them aside, not getting rid of them. Instead, it would help if you let go of your anger or pour all your energy towards dancing, cleaning, or any activity that enables you to shake off your mood.
- Ask yourself, “What makes me feel good?” It can be listening to music, talking to your friends, or cooking. Whatever it is, do it when you feel awful to counter it.
- Eat healthily. No matter how much lousy your mood pushes you to stop eating or stick to junk foods in the morning, try to stay away from either.
- Use a journal as a creative outlet, mostly if you cannot talk aloud regarding your feelings. It may or may not be read by anyone, depending on how comfortable you are to share your thoughts. What matters is that they are no longer in your head, causing you to be moody.
- Ask yourself again, “What would an optimist do in this situation?” Optimistic people are known for finding a way out of their emotional issues instead of getting stuck. If your moodiness does not work, then perhaps cheerfulness will do the job.
Is being argumentative a symptom of depression?
Technically, being argumentative is a sign of irritability. You tend to question what you see or hear when you feel wronged or believe it is wrong. Nevertheless, irritability is one of the many symptoms of depression, so they are somewhat related.
Why do I feel so bad when I wake up?
When you wake up, you experience something that experts call sleep inertia. That’s when you are in between wakefulness and sleep, and you take things in slowly. Thus, if you wake up to loud noise, lots of movements, or anything out of the ordinary, you may not feel so good and become cranky.
What are the nine causes of depression?
The nine causes of depression include:
- Family disputes
- Major life changes
- Physical, mental, or emotional abuse
- Social isolation
Is school the cause of depression?
It is challenging to say that school is the cause of depression for students or teachers. After all, other factors outside of school can cause it, such as family issues, peer pressure, and even divorce. Nevertheless, the school can be a significant factor that contributes to it.
How do I stop being grumpy when tired?
If you no longer want to feel grumpy when you are tired, you should try the following:
- Find out what irritates you. Is it the excessive noise that the people around you are making? Is there a valid reason for what you feel? If you realize that you are overreacting, then you should try to breathe and calm down.
- Reduce your alcohol and caffeine intake. Many studies have deduced that easily irritable individuals are typically addicted to either or both.
- Admit and accept every little thing that irritates you, no matter how embarrassing it may be. If you keep it under the wraps all the time, you may end up exploding one day.
- Do physical activities to shake off your grumpiness. Things as simple as walking away or going for a run can do wonders to your mood, even if it’s only for a few minutes.
- Isolate yourself from others for a little while. Grumpiness causes you to say stuff that you can no longer take back, so it’s better if you say nothing at all.
Why do I wake up crying for no reason?
When you wake up crying for no reason at all, it is most likely because of depression or anxiety. Some people who have been diagnosed with either mental disorder may understand this symptom. However, if you have never received a diagnosis and experience it, it may be the best time to see a psychiatrist or psychologist.
In other cases, crying is due to physical illnesses. That is especially true if you are a senior who deals with arthritis or, worse, dementia.
What causes morning anxiety?
Morning anxiety is because of the high cortisol level that your brain produces as soon as you wake up. According to research, your stress level is highest at this point, considering you have not eaten anything yet or you have only had sweets and coffee in the morning. Both cases boost anxiety, so it is best to reduce your caffeine intake and eat healthy foods only.
How do I know if I’m bipolar?
If you are bipolar, you may experience the following:
- Excessive sleepiness or sleep deprivation
- Too much or lack of energy
- Feeling high or low
Why do I get mad instead of sad?
Sadness is one of the primary feelings you experience when something does not go your way, along with fear, guilt, and anxiety. However, sadness turns into anger when you refuse to let the former emotion out or accept that you feel that way. The more sadness piles up in your system, the higher the chances are of you getting mad in the end.
Is anxiety a mental illness?
Anxiety is not always considered a mental illness, especially if you rarely experience it for different reasons or deal with anxiety-inducing events. E.g., being in a stampede, getting mugged, etc. However, you may get diagnosed with anxiety when you become afraid of the same things repeatedly, to the extent that even thinking about them makes you fearful.
Why am I still tired after sleeping?
If you still feel tired after getting enough sleep at night, it may be because of the following:
- Adrenal fatigue
- Physical illness (e.g., hypothyroidism)
- Sedentary lifestyle
How do I wake up happy?
To increase your chances of waking up happily, you should do the following:
- Make sure the curtains or blinds are open before going to bed. Doing so will guarantee that the bright morning sunlight hits you and slows down your brain’s melatonin production while increasing its adrenaline production. That may be the most natural way to wake up happily.
- Try to get up 15 minutes before you are supposed to start getting ready for your day. It may sound pointless at first, especially if you want to get as much sleep as possible. However, being 15 minutes early entails that you have a few minutes to collect your thoughts in bed and avoid forgetting stuff when it is finally time to move.
- Remember to stretch every limb before you even come to your senses. You may start by flexing your fingers first, then your wrists and arms before moving up to your shoulders. After that, you may wiggle your toes, extend your feet and ankles, and stretch your legs. Spending at least 15 seconds on every limb will undoubtedly get the blood flowing throughout your body.
- Turn on your music player and listen to upbeat songs. You need not dance or sing along, even though that is recommendable. The idea is that listening to music helps you recall your creative thoughts from the previous night and figure out what productive things you must do during the day.
- Accept that morning is not the best time to make decisions. As you know, that is a stressful activity, and you cannot have an excellent start if you stress yourself out too early. Instead, you should do your routine and leave the decision-making process at a later time.
- Upgrade your coffee maker and get something that will start brewing at a specific time when you are supposed to get up. The reason is that the smell of freshly brewed coffee can stimulate your brain to function well, even if you have just awakened. Nevertheless, you should not drink too much caffeine.
- Brush your teeth well at night. While not many people realize it, there are at least 300 bacteria that inhabit your mouth when you sleep – a few passes of the toothbrush will not reduce their numbers significantly. Please pay special attention to your tongue, too, and brush it for 60 seconds for best results.
- Have a small amount of sugar – a teaspoon at most – in your body every morning. That is supposed to counter the anxiety symptoms that low blood sugar may induce and boost your memory throughout the day. Still, it is not an excuse to eat doughnuts or cookies or even a cake for breakfast because too much sugar can make you sluggish and unhappy.
- Prepare your schedule the night before. Waking up with a sleep-addled brain means that your thoughts are scrambled, and there is nothing you can do about that. However, if you write down your entire plan for the day, you will feel relaxed in the morning.
- Bond with your kids, spouse, parents, roommates, or at least pets before leaving the house. It seems easy for some people to forget to do this when they are late for work or school, but spending a few minutes with them can brighten up your day.
Why am I tired during the day but not at night?
You tend to feel tired during the day but not at night because of circadian rhythm abnormalities. If you must know, the circadian rhythm is a biological process that dictates when a person sleeps or wakes up. In case this process gets disrupted by anything – loud external noises, medication, insomnia, etc. – your rhythm may turn upside down and cause daytime sleepiness.
My entire 2020 was quite awful, I must admit. I was in a dark phase; nothing seemed to bring me joy – not even coding. That scared me, considering that was technically my bread and butter. Hence, I reached out to my therapist more than a decade ago, and she helped me this time through online therapy. It opened my mind and heart to the reality that the pandemic was temporary – I would have to prepare for the wonderful mornings ahead of me.